I feel at times that I’m losing track of what it is I really want to be doing with my life. The important things in life are still abundantly clear to me - my Mom, my partner and my health.
I find myself constantly looking around for clues and signs that I am on the right track – am I going where I need to go, am I meeting who I need to meet, am I being true to myself?
After my Dad passed away this past fall I find that I am looking for signs that might be coming from him. My Dad, no matter what, was always a source of reassurance when times got rough and it was not long after he passed away that I found myself at the hospital with my Mom - it was one of those rough times. She was there to have a biopsy on a lymph node suspected to be once again cancerous and I was there to hold her hand. I paced the floor waiting and felt sad that my Dad was not there to hold her hand. He was not there to sit with us while we waited . . . he just wasn’t there. I wasted time by wondering through the gift shop looking at the items set neatly (though compactly) on the shelves. I was only half looking at the merchandise, I was really off in my own little world, wishing, hoping and praying (and I’m not religious) that my Dad could show me a sign that everything would be ok. It was at that moment that I received my wish and there on the shelf in front of me sat a flying pig.
It had long been a running joke between my parents and me that I would get pregnant when pigs flew. Briefly pigs did fly . . . but not for long. Since that time I have looked in vein for any kind of flying pig. So to see it there on the shelf in the hospital gift shop of all places seemed to be a sign of reassurance – a sign that my Dad was still around and thinking of us.
I have seen the pig fly twice more since that day – once at the shop across from a new job and again on Christmas morning as a gift from the love of my life. These pigs seem to be letting me know that I am on the right track and that everything would be alright. There are days when I wonder if I’m just being crazy, who in there right mind looks to a flying pig for guidance . . . it’s at those times that another one flies by. I have learned to just have faith.
Worry looks down
Faith looks up
And hope floats
Chin up! As my Grandmother used to say (or quote) - “Laugh and the world laughs with you. Cry and you cry alone.”
I hope that some day soon - that is if you don't have one already - that all of you find your flying pig J
|The little silver pig is what I found at the hospital|
gift shop - the garden ornament was my
Christmas Angel - and the flock of piggy's
is what I found across the street from my new job.